What to Say at a Business Dinner Abroad

A business dinner is not a meeting with food. It is the room where people decide whether they like you, and language is the medium rather than the subject. The vocabulary that matters is small and social: greeting at the correct level, asking one good question, and being able to disagree pleasantly.

Arrive with a greeting prepared in the right register and use it on everyone, not only the senior person. In Spanish, buenas noches with usted to each guest. In French, bonsoir to the table as you sit. In Japanese, よろしくお願いいたします at the start of the meal, said to the host rather than the room. In Italian, buonasera, and then let someone introduce you rather than introducing yourself first.

Ask a question that cannot be answered with a fact. Not “how long have you worked here” but “what has changed most in your industry this year” — a question that gives the other person something to be interesting about. This is the single highest-return sentence in a second language, and it is the same sentence in all four of our languages.

Then offer one opinion you can defend and are willing to lose. A table where everyone agrees is a table where nobody has met anyone. The useful phrase is not agreement but measured doubt: « no estoy seguro de que sea tan sencillo », « je ne suis pas certain que ce soit si simple », « non sono sicuro che sia così semplice », 「そんなに簡単なことではないかもしれません」.

What closes a table is a subject, not a sentence. Money, politics, religion and anyone's family are the four that end an evening early. Health is a fifth, and it is the one adults walk into by accident when they ask after someone's parents.

Leave properly. In every one of these languages the farewell is a short formula said to each person, not a wave at the room — and in Japanese, the farewell is where politeness errors are most visible, because the register has to match the relationship you have just spent two hours building.

None of this requires a large vocabulary. It requires four phrases at the right register, one question you actually want the answer to, and the composure to let a silence sit for two seconds instead of filling it in English.