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Japanese Politeness Levels, Explained Without Mysticism
Updated 2026-11-10
Japanese politeness is carried by verb form and vocabulary, not by tone. Teineigo is the polite default ending in -masu; sonkeigo raises the other person's actions; kenjōgo lowers your own. Choosing the level comes before choosing the words, and a correct verb at the wrong level is still the wrong sentence.
Learners are usually told that Japanese has three politeness levels, which is like being told that music has three volumes. What matters is that the level is grammatical: it lives in the verb ending and often in a different verb entirely. 行く, 行きます and いらっしゃる are the same journey at three temperatures.
Teineigo is the polite register you can use almost anywhere: -masu endings, です, and neutral vocabulary. It is what a well-mannered adult uses with a stranger, a colleague, a shop assistant. If you learn only one register, learn this one, completely, so that you are never guessing mid-sentence.
Sonkeigo raises the person you are speaking to or about: いらっしゃいます for they are going or coming, おっしゃいます for they say, ご覧になります for they look. Kenjōgo lowers you: 参ります for I go, 申します for I am called, いただきます for I receive. Keigo is the umbrella term for both, and it is not decoration — it is the grammar of who is above whom in the sentence.
The mistake adults make is over-shooting. Using sonkeigo about your own actions is not extra polite; it is wrong, in the way that calling yourself “the honourable director” would be wrong. A hotel desk expects teineigo plus the standard service phrases, delivered smoothly. A job interview with a senior manager expects keigo used consistently, with your own actions lowered throughout.
The second mistake is apologising into the wrong level. すみません is the all-purpose polite apology; 申し訳ございません is the formal one for a business or service failure. Using the formal one for a small mistake sounds theatrical, and using the light one for a serious failure sounds careless. The level is the apology.
Practical advice: learn the shape of one complete formal sentence and one complete polite sentence, and say them until they are automatic — よろしくお願いいたします at the start of a working relationship, お世話になっております on the phone to a client. Fluency in Japanese, at the level adults need, is often six sentences used at exactly the right moment rather than three hundred used approximately.
Asked often
Which level should I use in a shop or hotel?
Teineigo — the -masu form — plus the standard set phrases. Service staff will use keigo toward you; you are not expected to return it, only to be clear and polite.
Is casual Japanese rude?
Not in itself. It is rude when used with someone the relationship does not permit it with. Among close friends and family it is the normal register.